Cemetery Behavior

In any cemetery, genealogists, historians, and descendants of the deceased are often present. People who love to photograph (or transcribe) headstone engravings usually frequent cemeteries as well. Others may be doing gravestone rubbings, though this has become a less popular hobby due to decaying stones.

Babbling happily about ghosts may distract or offend these people, who expect respectful silence in a cemetery. If someone is visiting the grave of a recently deceased family member, unsavory comments may upset them. They often prefer to think that everyone who has crossed over, is in a happier place...not lingering around a cemetery. It seems best to speak in subdued tones, and not approach strangers unless they initiate conversation.

Joking is generally inappropriate. That is not to say a person has to be dour, but some jokes are in very poor taste. Sure, people get nervous and manage to say the worst possible things at times. Avoiding offensive patter can be difficult.

As a guideline, here are a few "jokes" that could irritate the dead, and probably annoy the living as well:

"Oops, didn't mean to shout loud enough to wake the dead. Ha-ha-ha."

"Gee, he must have been a cheapskate, not giving his wife her own headstone."

"So, when do the ghouls show up, huh? Ha-ha-ha."

"Let's leave soon, I'm feeling dead tired."

"Can't you take a joke? I mean, hey, you're looking pretty grave. Ha-ha-ha."

Those thoughtless remarks should give a general idea. If someone starts joking, a person they are visiting the cemetery with should stop them immediately or leave. Everyone has seen jokers suddenly twist an ankle, or encounter other odd problems. Possibly the ghosts were "getting even?"

Obey the laws. If the cemetery states, "Closed dusk to dawn," obtaining written or verbal permission to visit after hours should be secured. If a person inadvertently stays past dusk, they are breaking the law. But mistakes do happen. It seems best to leave cheerfully, and quickly when the error is realized. Likewise, if the gate is locked at a cemetery, it is a possible hint that no one is allowed into the private resting place. Obey the request and do not disturb.

Protect what's in the cemetery. Do not lean on fragile headstones, much less sit on them. Don't use shaving cream to reveal inscriptions; many of them contain perfumes or other ingredients which contribute to decay. Acid rain has already done enough damage! A halogen flashlight at a sharp angle will reveal nearly as much, and sometimes more, than shaving cream would.

Respect the deceased. They may consider the cemetery "their home," and visitors--or perhaps trespassers--on their property should be respectful. It's okay to ignore belligerent, territorial ghosts, but understanding goes a long way.

Step carefully on graves.

Leave no litter.

Speak in soft tones as joking or loud voices can annoy and/or frighten some spirits and reduce any chances of getting a great photo or EVP if that's a person's intentions.

Some people recommend waiting at least a half an hour before taking photos, and then quietly asking permission of the deceased, in a respectful manner.

Many ghost hunters request permission before preceding forward. Using best judgement is essential.

It is generally inappropriate to take a pet into the cemetery. If a person must, be certain the pet is on a sturdy leash (particularly if he is frightened by spectral appearances), and that cleaning up after the pet is vital. If the pet disturbs others, including the spirits, take the animal back to the car (or return him to the home or a kennel).

Using common sense is important.

Move or remove nothing from the cemetery.

Leave plants, markers, badges, ribbons, and so on, exactly where found.

Do not pick anything, even autumn leaves from the trees. However, if empty beer cans or fast-food wrappers are strewn about, picking these items up and placing them in the trash is advised.